Tears Through Smiles
Posted by diagnosemylife
Today I cried.
Do you believe in tears of joy? It sounds funny at first, crying when you are happy–practically one of those contradiction-Starburst commercials–But every once in a while, I find myself crying through a smile. As a person who cries at the movie Titanic, when I get hit in the eye with a play script, or when I’m on the brink of a mental breakdown, it’s sort of funny that I should be susceptible to happy-crying. However, I am not afraid to admit that I’m pretty sensitive in that listening-to-The-Smiths-and-writing-poetry way, so I guess it’s pretty natural that I should be unable to express my feelings in any simple way.
I was with my boyfriend. I just woke up this morning, lying in his arms, listening to him breathe and tried to not like my mind get its holy-shit-this-is-too-good-to-be-true point. (Once it gets there, it’s hard to make it shut back up and enjoy the quiet.) A bit later when he was awake and I was in his arms, I just… It was one giant moment of looking at another like people do, saying “I love you” over and over through our eyes…so definite about how each other felt…where life outside doesn’t exist. And I cried, so full of gratitude and the single fact that this person I held existed.
I think crying for happiness is a big part of finding out what you will live for in life.