Passion & Passive
The quest to survive the hell-hole we call high school continues. Slowly.
So here’s what my day is composed of….I’m sure that you all are interested what this next generation is learning to prepare them for being in charge of the state of this country when you all are supposed to be enjoying retirement…. 1. I have pottery class, where I carve into clay for 45 minutes 2. I go to psychology, and we talk about all the scary mental illness and drugs we hope we never have to deal with 3. I go to Journalism, which means I waste time online 4. Astronomy, which usually means I sit and write what is on the board and sometimes sleep 5. Study Hall/ Nap Time 6. English Composition & Literature, time to sit and wish I was somewhere, almost anywhere else, and also think about what a failure I am 7. My Independent Study, where I read about the Crusades in between drifting off into la-la land 8. Creative Writing, I either write or wait for the final bell to ring
Does any of this seems productive to you?! Okay, so I know I could care about things more…or at least sleep less…but there is something to consider about these classes. After all, my body is simply reacting to my boredom. I want to graduate. I want to get my finals over with and done. I don’t want to be wasting my time day after day, waiting to get started on my future.
The stagnant pace of my life is catching up with me. Last night I was with my boyfriend, just playing around on the computer, and suddenly my thoughts started catching up with me. Sitting there watching him complete a level of this brand new game he downloaded was the most interesting part of my day. And I felt so disgusted with what I was doing with my life.
Not that watching him play computer games was at all bad, it just made me realize how spending time with him is the air I breathe to keep me going with everything I’m doing now. And I just feel like I should be more passionate about my life, EVERYTHING in my life. I want to be excited when I wake up in the morning! I want to be excited about everything I’m doing, not just about being with him (even though that is pretty exciting :)).
Summer will be here soon, I know, but soon isn’t soon enough… It’s time I start falling in love with life again, instead of waiting for it to fall in love with me. (I mean, think about it, people don’t fall in love with you if all you do is sit in your room, how could anything else? ….Damn you laziness, and your tempting ways!)