Things Are Happening…

It’s July! June has officially passed and the days leading up to my college education are getting shorter. Responsibilities are calling, and I’m doing a mixture of avoiding it and embracing it. So much to do… get my transcripts sent from my dual enrollment high school courses to the admissions office, take off work for summer registration, move my psychiatrist appointment around, finish the book I started weeks ago, buy things for my dorm, set up a savings account so I’ll quit blowing graduation money on gas and food… But then there are other things, like my boyfriend’s 21st birthday, and my first day at my new job (which is today!) that are coming up, which are exciting. I just have to keep myself balanced in order to not become super stressed. I have to relax, but not too much, or else I will get mad at myself for being lazy. I have to keep busy, but not so busy that I neglect myself. What a pain in the rear life can be…

But yes! My first day at my new crew job eat McDonald’s is today! Finally I will be making a bit of money again! I’m planning on keeping my skating rink job as well, but I may have to cut that out if McDonald’s needs me to. I’m looking forward to this…I remember my very first day at work ever, the spring of my sophomore year. I ended up crying, so frustrated at myself for not knowing the register’s buttons quick enough. This time, though, I have experience behind me. On the first day of my rink job I learned how to come out of my shell and be easy around coworkers without weeks passing. I’m confident that my first day at McDonald’s will be nothing to worry about. Sure, I know I’ll be a little frustrated again, but I’ll give myself a break, because I know now that no one gets everything perfect on the first day. Besides, it’ll be something to do, rather than just sitting around the house, earning zip. As long as you’re friendly to people, they’ll usually cut you some slack.

My boyfriend’s birthday is Friday, and one thing I have not slacked off about is his birthday present (which is usually the sort of thing I’d forget about until the last minute, I’ll admit). I won’t reveal what it is because I know he sometimes reads this, but I am very very excited to give it to him! You know, since I mention him fairly often on this I probably should give him a name, but for some reason I’ve hesitated, even right at the beginning when I wasn’t sure if what the heck would ever come of us. For everyone else I have given some sort of pseudonym, but I feel like I should consult him before I decide such a thing. After all, he is the only boyfriend I have had that has read this, besides one time when I showed Landon a few posts. I wouldn’t even tell my first boyfriend the name of this for fear that he should look it up. So why this guy? I don’t know…I guess I just feel like he believes in me, you know? Like he thinks I could actually be someone worth reading, or maybe that I already am… There are ramifications to his reading this, though. From the beginning, when he first told me he was reading, I immediately went to the what-if-I-get-mad-at-him-and-want-to-write-about-what-a-poohead-I-think-he-is place. And then there is also, what-if-we-break-up-and-he-reads-about-how-sad-or-mad-or-regretful-or-even-happy-I-am? He did tell me that he would stop reading if I didn’t want him to.  But quickly I told him I didn’t mind because I knew that if I was ever feeling depressed and too ashamed to say something, I would write and he would know. And he could come and sit with me, or bring me doughnuts, or call. And luckily that has never happened because a) my depression has not acted up  in quite a while (knock on wood!) and, b) I have never been afraid to tell him how I’m feeling.

And besides, he does have stuff to do. I know he doesn’t spend every night pouring over this stuff. Life is keeping both of us busy, which is good…I hope.

About diagnosemylife

Okay, if I can't keep all this stuff about my life in my head, how do you expect me to shove it in this little box?

Posted on 07/01/2013, in People--The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, This Whole "Life" Thing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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