My Ex’s New Girlfriend, & Other Hazards

“Well, I’m prettier than her!!”

Whenever you find yourself saying this, you know you’ve hit some sort of low. Not only because it isn’t a creative insult (which, come on, if you are going to go ahead and be mean at least be smart and witty about it), but it also implies that women receive all of their power and worth through looks, which is total bullshit. However, I will admit, almost every female says this to herself at some point to cope with their jealousy/anger/strong-will-to-shave-off-another-female’s-eyebrows-while-she-sleeps. I know this goes against my feminist principles to insult another female through being more appealing to men, because it is my character that determines my true value, but let’s face it: society teaches girls to want to have sex appeal, and ultimately sets them up to take major blows to the self-esteem. So…I’m just going to tell myself that, despite my ethical arguments.

Why the need for this reassurance? Well, as of today my ex-boyfriend Jack (as in “ass”) announced his new official relationship with this girl I went to high school with. This girl is two years younger, known to hunt down guys who are in relationships, and frankly not as good-looking or intellectual. And who wants that to be the girl some douche bag dumped you for?

Now I know I’m being catty. But I just can’t believe he had someone all lined up to take my place…who does that?!? I slept with that bastard! I got him a stupid Christmas present (which is still in the bag lying in my room–the perfect gift wasted)! He was the guy I gave my full trust and loyalty to after my one year relationship fell apart! I went to him when I was depressed! WHAT AN ASS! So I shouldn’t take it out on this poor girl….but what the hell makes her so good?!?!

I’m working really hard at not being angry at him and not kicking him in the balls. So far the latter has been the more successful of the two. However, Jack and I share friends so I’ve got to suck it up sometime….I’ll just have to be better at faking my obvious distaste, distrust, and disgust. And deep down I don’t even want the stupid bastard. I’m just mad I let him humiliate me. But I’ve just got to tell myself that I will pity him in the end, when I am off having a real college life while he is stuck working at McDonald’s and living at home, dating some silly high school girl. And I will be older and so much more involved in equality issues and fighting social issues like homophobia, the patriarchy, religious hate crime, etc. I will be bad ass and they will be boring!! And you know what?? I’m glad I don’t have to pretend to like sports with that Jackass!

But…you know…working on not being angry….

(I just finished watching all of the Lord of the Rings movies…Legolas seemed appropriate.)

So here’s the plan: I will fake it until I make it. I’m going to look hot as much as laziness will allow, I will indulge in a new pair of jeans I need, I will get that new haircut I’ve been wanting, I’ll throw myself into doing things I enjoy like reading, watching The Office, and discovering new music. And I will remember that I am awesome, and no other girl will change that.

And no guy, either. Because I am worth more than that dumb Jack will ever know. Hail to redemption!!!

(Click below to hear what I’ve been listening to while writing this!)

About diagnosemylife

Okay, if I can't keep all this stuff about my life in my head, how do you expect me to shove it in this little box?

Posted on 01/07/2014, in All That "Love" Crap and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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