And the Pieces Fall Together…

Today I felt great about my life. My boyfriend showed so much support, consideration, and compassion, proving yet again how lucky I am to have him. My family made me realize how hard I am willing to work to have an adult life surrounded in warmth and generosity. My long car ride back to school was filled with happy pop songs that inspired me to make a positive change in my life, and how attainable that goal really is. The people you love really do come through for you sometimes, and when they do you understand that with the right amount of love and support, you can grow into the person you’ve always wanted to be–that version of yourself you’ve dreamt about, who makes you ache from reaching out so hard.

I know that might not make much sense, but it sometimes is just as simple as facing yourself in the mirror and saying, “I AM going to do this. I have to do this.” So with that motto in mind, I went on a run today for the first time in a long time. It was very hard to push through, and before I even walked out the door, my heart was racing from nerves. But I did it! And I felt a power inside of me, pushing me that much forward toward the next block, the next stop sign…It made me feel less helpless, and more control of my life in a positive way. And I probably would have never gone on that run if I had decided to cry as I left my boyfriend in a different city, if I had decided to turn on the same music I always listen to. But as stupid as it sounds, the radio was playing the top 100 songs from the early 2000’s, and it made me feel silly and carefree. I suddenly remembered that I shouldn’t take my life so seriously, and that in order to move forward I need to pursue what makes me happy, nothing more or less.

Happiness is what I need. It’s all anyone wants for and craves. It’s what makes this world turn, and success is meaningless without it. And while we can’t always be happy, because life will always deal us a certain amount of blows, the ability to adapt is what keeps us strong. This strength makes us brave enough to reach for more, even at the risk of getting hurt. And so we reach and find happiness yet again, usually where we least expect it.

I think I’m brave enough now to reach for happiness again, even at the risk of getting hurt. I know I have love and support, even if it may be far, and as long as I remember that I will believe in my own strength. Now it is the time to create a new life here at college, the life I truly deserve.



About diagnosemylife

Okay, if I can't keep all this stuff about my life in my head, how do you expect me to shove it in this little box?

Posted on 09/01/2014, in This Whole "Life" Thing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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