They Never Told Me/Drowning


They never told me.

They never said anything about what to do when your mom cries to you, because your sexuality is tearing the family apart.

They never mentioned that the older I would get, the less I felt worthy to have friends, or that I would constantly feel like my friends didn’t actually like me.

No one talked to me about how sex could be used as a bargaining tool—I give you my body, you pretend like you care.

I don’t remember hearing anything about what to do when you’re 13 and your best friend gets molested, and you’re the only person in the world that knows.

And how to react when your supposed soulmate cheats on you, and your trust in love is broken.

No one told me that the urge to cut would stay when I went to college.

I must have missed the talk where you learn how to feel happy even though you are constantly tired and barely keeping your head above water in classes.

I guess someone forgot to teach me how to look in the mirror without seeing all the mistakes I’ve made.

Why didn’t someone warn me about how all of my childhood dreams would become ruined?

Who was supposed to send the instructions about being rejected by your family?

Because I’m drowning, and I can’t swim.

No one brought the life jacket.


About diagnosemylife

Okay, if I can't keep all this stuff about my life in my head, how do you expect me to shove it in this little box?

Posted on 11/08/2015, in This Whole "Life" Thing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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