Why It’s Great To Be Single
Posted by diagnosemylife
Hey guys. So, in the spirit of venting and desperately attempting to remain positive, (and the fact that I’m getting close to my period and am therefore pretty sassy—hey, it’s relevant) I’m sharing a list with you all today instead of simple prose ranting. Hope you’ll find it as tolerable as I do.
Reasons To Look Forward To Being Single (And Not Fall Into A Pit of Despair When My Girlfriend Moves Away)
- I get to hate everyone else’s music and become a music snob. My music rules over all. No more testing people on how much I can not judge their music taste (A crucial test if anyone is going to spend significant time with me).
- Dressing up and looking hot whenever I feel like it. Also, on the flip side, no longer dressing to impress. I see a lot more sweatpants days in the future…but who knows, maybe I’ll wear some makeup and shit, too.
- Continuing to not shave my legs (my girlfriend is awesome and doesn’t care about that kind of stuff anyway, but it’ll be nice to keep giving zero fucks when she’s gone).
- Spending tons of bonding time with my friends (that will probably include wine and bitching about our lives).
- Watching all of my cheesy rom coms that I’m too embarrassed to watch with significant others. And then always crying at the end.
- Always having time to do my homework, although I’ll probably still put it off anyway.
- Going back to scorning Valentine’s Day like every other single person.
- That hopeful feeling you get when you go out and see someone cute. ( Followed by: Ohmygod they’re looking at me! They’re looking…They’re looking…aaannnd wait who’s that girl? Maybe she’s just walking by…keep walking…keep walking…No! Why is she talking to them? Is she their…wait, is she…oh fuck. Yep, definitely their girlfriend.)
- Mercilessly flirting with random people and then not following through. (Example: “So, you wanna continue this conversation back at my place?” “Nah.”)
- Using my time for things I’m always in the mood for, like reading, crafting, exercising, sleeping, not wearing pants, and singing loudly and off-key to dorky songs.
The truth is, it’s going to suck. And I’ll probably be super mopey and think all of the things on this list are bullshit for at least two weeks. Because I love my girlfriend and I’m going to be a mess once she’s gone. But I’ve been a mess before, and I’ve gotten through it before. I used to be a pro at being single, and I’m sure with time all of my single skills will come back to me. After all, nobody watches Netflix and eats junk food better than I do.
Here’s to staying positive, and silently hating all couples everywhere! Cheers!