It’s funny how some places make you feel old and others make you feel young. In a college town, I’m considered a little freshman. Back home, I’ve moved on from the tedious activities I found stimulating in high school, like hanging out with the people who still are a part of it. I know that sounds super asshole-ish of me to say, because this time last summer I had just graduated, but from the moment my parents dropped me off at campus high school became a distant dream. My hopes and worries became completely different from those of my old peers. And hanging around the high school became really…lame.
But anyway, today I have a graduation party to go to. Last Saturday I went to one which was nice enough, but made me really glad I decided to not have a graduation party last summer. People were crammed into this guy’s bedroom watching this one guy mess around with Minecraft, a video game I find as boring as its name. Since I came late, I opted to stay outside on the porch and nibble on the food. My friends came out and joined me, and we all stayed out there the entire time. I know it was pretty rude and anti-social of us, but it was nice out and the room was crammed full of some decent people sprinkled with truly insufferable asses. I never really got a chance to catch up with the guy who threw the party, a guy I knew since he was a little freshman, and never got to see his face as he read the card I gave him. I spent around an hour on the card, and even though there wasn’t any money or anything in it, I was pretty heartfelt in it. But there was this box out front for cards, so I had to slip it in there instead, like an anonymous complaint or something. I just hope this party is a bit less awkward. At least this time my boyfriend can go with me, so I will have him by my side to make the sight of my ex and his new girlfriend less annoying. Since we all belong to the same friend group, they show up to a lot of these events and act very cold and uncomfortable towards me and my friends. That’s another thing about this small town that I’m not super thrilled about.
But things with my boyfriend are still super great, if not even super greatER. I don’t even know what to mention specifically…it’s everything. We understand each other so well and are constantly finding out new things about the other person. This summer has been a lot about experiencing new things together so far; we’ve gone to concerts, a carnival, thrift shopping, movies, reading new/old books together…. It’s just the most beautiful, amazing, exhilarating feeling to look at the person next to you, and find them looking back. That’s the simplest way I can put it.
In other news, I’ve started working at a daycare with a few of my friends. The Pros: I get weekends off, evenings off after 6 o’clock, and get to roll into work at 11:30 so I can sleep in. My co-workers are nice or at least decently polite, and I get to complain with my friends after work. The Cons: Poopy diapers, bosses only concerned with covering their asses, kids that don’t mind you (especially during nap time), getting hit in the face with toys, and recess during hot afternoons. I talk about the daycare a lot, and am surprised at how much I don’t mind working there despite the fact that I have never really liked kids. It’s exhausting work, but I am determined to get through it, week by week. Besides, some of the kids are actually growing to like me a bit (not sure why though… I’m usually a big hard ass with them) which is nice in its own weird way. I’ve talked about it with my boyfriend, and have decided that the biggest lesson the daycare has taught me is to not let our future kid turn out to be an asshole.
Other than the daycare, hanging out with my boyfriend and friends, and doing activities like concerts and grad parties, my mission is to do something about my disaster of a room. I haven’t exactly unpacked, and my bed frame broke so my mattress is on the floor, and I’ve been going through my old toys and papers and things… it’s a wreck, and I want to just get my own place already so I won’t have to do all this constant packing and unpacking and moving my life from place to place. I don’t belong here, I don’t belong there… One thing I miss about high school is the permanence.
Anyway, that’s my life this summer so far. It’s a lot less depressing than my last post, and probably sounds incredibly boring. I’m okay with that.
Summer air. Full of infatuation, full of possibilities, of nights that run wild and chase after sunrise…most of us can never get enough. Though my summer days are lacking in employment for the most part, somehow I’ve managed to do so much throughout each week. Lately I’ve been surrounded with a group of people and am becoming more and more entertained by what the summer air is filling them with: there is the classic love triangle, the competition between the guys, the happy couple, the rough-housing jocks, the flirt, the whispering of budding relationships….all in one group.
Here’s an example: there’s this guy…let’s call him Jack…who is dating…Clara. Jack is a major flirt to anything with a pulse, so when Clara landed the “girlfriend” position a few months ago, everyone was shocked. However, for the last month Jack and…Libby, have been all too friendly with each other. Everyone knows they like each other, everyone but Clara it seems. But Jack isn’t breaking up with her. Meanwhile, a different guy…Cary…has been talking to Jack and is attracted to him. Jack seems to be flirting with him at the same time as flirting with Libby and dating Clara. Who will he choose? Who knows? Is he switching teams (going from hetero to homosexual)? Can’t be sure. And so we have our love triangle, contracted by one massive flirt.
Maybe it’s something in the air. Everyone is in love or flirting or something in between it seems. The lines that define companionship are blurred in the summer heat by skimpy tank tops, long, tan legs, and smooth muscles. Do we all convince ourselves that it’s just some summer fun, or is it merely a coincidence that lovers seem to meet under the blazing summer stars?
Recently I read a mini blog series about attraction from another WordPresser, “thelovemanifesto”. He broke it down into the nature and nurture, the social aspects and the environmental. After witnessing the experiences of my friends, I can’t help but wonder if this is a case of teenage hormones or an actual biological tendency. I’ve heard of a mating season for certain animals, but could the same effect be taking place with people?
Anyway, just some thoughts for the day. The summer has always made me a bit reckless, and by this post I guess I’m just looking for conformation that I’m not alone. Let me know your thoughts/feel welcome to comment!